No one expects to get divorced when they get engaged. No new husband or wife expects anyone else to catch their eye, ever. No wife plans for her husband to cheat. No husband plans to neglect their wife. No wife hopes to trick another man into an affair or visa-versa.
Marriage is entered into with a general idea or at least hope that this will last forever, that there will be purity between the spouses and that they will forever only have eyes for each other.
In 25 years of doing pre-marital counseling and marriage counseling with my pastor-husband. no one comes into the office planning to cheat, lie, commit adultery, look at porn or defile the marriage bed.
Or do they?
Proverbs 5 tells us that there are huge foolish behaviors that will lead your marriage down the road to disaster. Here they are:
1. The lips of a forbidden woman (or man) speak words that are sweet and easy on the ears. They are seductive. They are words that you want to hear. They may make promises of pleasure, happiness, acceptance. But they are words that will end in bitter heartache and pain. Like drinking a poison. (vs 3-4) 2. The feet of the forbidden woman (or man) lead straight to hell. Oh, it might not seem that way at first but before it’s over you’ll think you’ve been to hell and back. Half-hazard regard for the destruction they bring and the people they will hurt is just the beginning of the bad choices and unstable ways they will bring to the relationship. (vs 5-7)
But how are these behaviors so costly? What does it really matter? I might never get caught in this forbidden relationship.
Marriage should be entered into with the purest of intents. When anyone is sexually promiscuous before marriage, they give a piece of themselves away to someone else…someone who doesn’t have the regard for their innocence, purity and virginity. I know it’s not a popular stance to take. But it’s God’s way. In Proverbs 5:9-10, Solomon says, don’t give yourself away! You will regret it! Don’t give the best of your youth to someone who will not honor it and love you for life.
He goes on to say that you will embarrass yourself, you will lament over wasted years and you will waste not only your life, but resources on something that brought you little fulfillment and much guilt.
So, what’s in it for you if guard your heart and life and remain pure until marriage? What’s in it for you if you keep your marriage pure, loving and committed until death?
Here’s what Provers 5:15-20
1. All your spouse’s love will be for you and you alone. 2. You will enjoy security and trust in your physical relationship.
In plain English…you’re not going to have to worry about a lot of things if you come to marriage pure and if you stay committed to your marriage for the long haul. Does it mean your marriage will be perfect? No. Does it mean you won’t have ups and downs? No. But it means that your hearts will beat together to the rhythm of trust and love. It means at the end of the day there are arms waiting to hold you, strength gained from being together and security in the fact that your spouse knows you in every way and has chosen to stick with you through thick or thin.
Oh! that our world would see the beautiful picture Godly marriage makes. Let us do better and be better in modeling this marriage, teaching our children God’s way and representing godly marriage as the best way!