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  • Writer's pictureGina Stinson

Be the Friend

That woman that you think has it all together. She doesn't.

The one whose kids are dressed to the nines and never have a hair out of place— she's frazzled.

The one with the humorous response or sarcastic remark—she's hurting.

The lady who has a food stained t-shirt and disheveled hair is barely hanging on.

The pastor's wife who looks like she is perfectly perfect in every way—she's far from it.

The one who has the office job that pays the big bucks—she lacks in other ways.

The homeschooling mom—she's about ready to pull her hair out some days.

Whatever your mental picture is of the woman who has it all together, forget about it. She doesn't exist.

Far too long we have been intimidated by those whose lives look neat on the outside. Let's face this fun fact together: With Covid, racial tensions, wildfires, hurricanes, politics and whatever the rest of 2020 is going to bring—ain't nobody got this all together.

Most days I'm tackling motherhood, writing and ministry with a messy bun and no makeup. There's way more frozen pizza and burgers than I am comfortable admitting. The house is wrecked a couple of times a week and I wonder if I am good enough for anyone.

This is where most people live. We live in the middle places. We wonder if we are good enough. We wish for friendship but doubt our worth. We question what God was thinking when he chose us to be a wife and mother. We know we need something but doubt we have the time for it. We dress up for work or church but deep down inside know that it's all just a big farce. We contemplate our gifting and challenge our callings.

I don't know about you, but I need other strong women around me. Naomi and Ruth had each other. Mary and Martha had each other. Mary and Elizabeth had each other. Each relationship brought them closer to each other and to the Lord. We need each other.

I need others to remind me of who I am. I need others to jerk me back to reality when I dive to disparities. I need others to encourage me. I need others to correct me. I need others to laugh with me. I need others to listen to me. I need others to love me. I need others to support me.

I need a lot.

But hey, so do you. Let's be there for each other.

Let's make the time to walk together. Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt. Let's love each other in the middle—The middle of snotty nosed kids, quarantine, homeschooling, mask-wearing, child raising, young adult parenting. The middle of questioning our faith, wondering about the future, worried for our kids and for our nation. The middle of hot flashes and mood swings and hysterectomies and cancer and death. God gave us each other. Be there. Anyway you can. Text, call, send a card, go to lunch, grab a coffee, send a picture. Love each other.

That's what I need. I bet you do too.

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