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  • Writer's pictureGina Stinson

Who Do You Believe?


That feeling of sadness when your mind tells you there’s no one there for you. And you look around and convince yourself that your mind is right.

I have struggled with loneliness for years. My best friends live hours and hours away. There are no unscheduled coffee shop dates. There is no bumping into each other in the grocery stores. There are no unplanned, spur of the moment trips.

I miss them. They have been the ones to hold me up in prayer, cry with me, slap me back into reality (OK, not literally, although they may have wanted to.) We have raised our kids together, sent text messages across the world on a near daily basis, sat in Whataburger exchanging fears and faith until our bums hurt. These women have my heart.

But, because of distance, I still feel lonely. Out of place. Fragile. Self-Conscious. I long for the closeness of a friendship that isn’t hours and hours away.

And this is right where the enemy wants me. I recognize this place. The place between truth and lies. The neutral space. It’s the space where I get to choose. Will I choose the truth or will I believe the lies?

The Liar wants me to believe I can’t make new friends. That I am not worth knowing. The Liar reminds me I am nearly 50 years old…too old to make new and meaningful friendships. Better just stick with what I have. The Liar reminds me that I am a little odd. The Liar brings up past hurts and relationship wounds and brings back to my attention that friendship is risky.

But Truth tells me to believe God has people out there that need me and that I need. That God created me and that simple fact and nothing else makes me precious and worth knowing. The Truth reminds me that I am entering a season of life that will have more time for meaningful relationships. The Truth reminds me that my oddity and quirks make me unique and every relationship needs that person who is a little different. The Truth reminds me that forgiveness brings freedom to try again and to do better. Truth reminds me I don’t need to be afraid.

Friendship at 48 is hard. It’s hard to put yourself out there. It’s hard to walk into lives that are established and ask them to make room for you. But I have the choice—listen to the Liar or listen to the Truth. Who has my best interest in mind? Who knows we were all created for relationship? Who has prepared and equipped me to love and be loved. The Truth, that’s who.

Maybe you’re struggling too. In this time of quarrantine, isolation, and fear, I have found it easy to plunge into the depths of loneliness. It’s a hard place to get out of. I don’t like who I am when I am there, but the anxiousness and apprehension of making new friends and being with others can sometimes be too overwhelming. I would rather protect myself than do the important work of friendship.

But God’s way is better. He tells us in his word: to have friends, you have to be a friend. Simple as that! That’s the truth us lonely gals have to cling to. Truth tells us, we don’t have to be lonely. We have to buy into the truth. Forget the lies of the enemy. He is against you. He doesn’t want anything good for you. He wants you to remain in the pit of loneliness. His plans are to kill, steal and destroy anything and everything in his path. Let’s not play his games.

I am going to try harder to be the kind of friend I want. What about you?

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