I listened as the laughter rumbled through the building. It was almost 10pm. I was tired. It had been “a day.” But for weeks these teenagers had been trying to get together and it finally worked out for tonight. My own, too young to drive, so I became the chaperone. I remained in the car as they visited in the restaurant and then when they asked to go play basketball, I thought to myself,
“Why not?”
I mean, really. Why not?
Parents, I know we are tired. We are burning the wick at both ends. We work hard. We are “on” most of the time. It’s easy to always say “no”—to be the fun snuffer, the party pooper and the police. And don’t misinterpret what I’m saying—you should always be the parent, but it was nice to say “yes,” tonight. Our kids sometimes need a frivolous "yes."
So what that we had just finished dinner at home. So what that I didn’t have makeup on. So what that it was getting late and near my bedtime. So what that I was alone in the car so I wouldn’t be an “embarrassment” or in the way or hovering over my kid.
These days are going to be gone. Soon he won’t need me to drive. Soon he won’t ask for a few dollars. Soon the roar of laughter will pass as they grow older and forget about spring break and basketball and Whataburger shakes (OK—maybe not that last one—who can forget a good milkshake, really?)
But I will remember. I will know that sometimes, even big 15-year-old boys need a “yes” from their parents. Sometimes the friend group needs a place to crash, a movie to watch or a night to jam in your living room. And I will remember that sometimes the hassle is worth the roar of laughter. It’s worth the “yes.”
Let’s face it. As parents we operate in the “no” and “go” most of the time.
—No, you can’t go.
—No, you can’t stay out late.
—No, you can’t eat that for breakfast.
—No, you can’t drive there.
—Go to bed.
—Go brush your teeth, take a shower, put on deodorant.
—Go study.
—Go to your room.
We can sometimes seem demanding, even though we are well intentioned. We can frustrate our kids as much as they frustrate us. We remember the “children obey” and forget the rest of the verse:
Colossians 3:20-21, says: Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged.
Let’s pleasantly surprise them. Throw havoc to the wind and do something silly every once in a while. Splurge on something or better yet, use your time to do something they would never expect. A midnight run, breakfast in bed, love notes on their door, a trip to the local park—whatever speaks to your kids.
These moments are flying. Say "yes" to something frivolously fun occasionally! I think you’ll be delighted with the results. That big hug from my almost 6 foot, 15 year old was worth every minute.